By Anne Kreamer

A few years ago, when I was 48, I received a photograph in the mail—me sandwiched between a gray-haired friend and my blonde daughter. In contrast to their natural colors, my deeply dyed brown hair looked harsh and fake, not chic and young, as I had always imagined. In the sudden, absolute clarity of that moment, I decided to stop coloring my hair after 25 years of trying every hue from “roan” to “ebony.” Cold turkey. The choice was easy. The process—not so much.

Transition. From start to finish it took me 18 months to become gray. As I found out, it’s impossible to strip out all the dye and become gray-haired overnight. In my case, I enlisted my hairdresser in a kind of long farewell: Every month she softened the sharp transition line of new growth with highlights and toner, so I wouldn’t look skunk-like.

Acceptance. For me, embracing my natural hair color was a powerful, sometimes disconcerting tool for self-discovery—and, in the end, one of the most liberating actions of my life. Letting go of this deep-seated, socially reinforced, longtime ritual helped me develop the courage not only to admit that I was turning 50 but also to feel comfortable showing the plain truth of it. I flexed new emotional and intellectual muscles and today feel more resilient and grounded.

Transformation. In the course of my transition, I began to realize that I had used my “younger-looking” hair to camouflage less healthy aspects of myself. Fifteen extra pounds? No problem—my roots aren’t showing. But that was magical thinking. “About six weeks after my roots started to show, I started seriously working out again and now, with my gray hair, I even feel physically stronger. But perhaps the most gratifying unanticipated consequence has been how good my hair looks. It’s shiny and healthy, and strangers now often stop me to tell me how much they like it. Trust me—that never once happened during the 25 years I dyed it. Talk about a silver lining.

Below, share your thoughts/fears about revealing your gray hair or choosing to color it.

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Your Comments:

I am 36 and have very dark hair. I started getting some streaks of silver a few years ago. It's funny, women never say anything about my hair color but sometimes men that I'm close with will run their finger along a streak and just SMILE.
-- Heidi

Your Comments:

A wise older woman once told me that gray hair was Mother Nature's way of softening wrinkles. My decision to never dye my hair was met with much consternation from my friends, but my wrinkles are definitely less noticeable than theirs :-).
-- Jannette

Your Comments:

It's very brave to accept who you are and where you are in your physicality and stage of life. I have been coloring my hair other colors for a long time but hope to develop the courage to accept my natural state and color in the years to come. I want to read the book!
-- CR

Your Comments:

I think women who allow their grey color to show are so beautiful. I view it as a physical manifestation of confidence, grace and self-acceptance. I think more women should embrace it!
-- Dalynn

Your Comments:

I have/had black hair. When the white started show up, it went right away. There was no salt and pepper look. It was like the color black in my hair shut down and white got connected. I let it grow. My hair grew 8 inches in a year and my hair was white from my scalp to my jawline and then the rest was black. I suddenly got some of the girls I work with to say, "I'm not going to color my hair anymore". The younger kids loved it. (With them mostly, the two toned look is in anyway.) I plan on getting it cut when I'm tired of long hair. Right now, I love my hair long. It's almost waist length. Ask anyone. It's beautiful and I'm 55 years old.
-- Pattie Vogt

Your Comments:

I like gray hair on both men and women. I have decided to never dye my hair. I'm 51, have very little gray hair; its long and wavy. Women and men should feel good about the changes that our bodies must go through. It's NATURAL HEALTH that's causing these changes. I'm enjoying the March issue of NH with its many different articles.
-- Ruth Longoria

Your Comments:

I am 44 and I have just recently decided to go grey and I am loving it. Some of my friends think it is a stupid idea, but I think it will lookk great. I am not ashamed to be growing older nor do I feel the need to hide anymore.
-- Robin Weaver

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