Saying No, Nicely
You can set boundaries during the holiday season without spoiling the holiday mood.
11/2007
To a colleague or casual friend: "Thanks so much for including me. But I just won't be able to make the party. Do you think we could get together after the holidays? I'd love to spend time with you." Then write a reminder in your calendar to follow up with that person.
To close friends or family members: "I imagine that you may feel disappointed because Bill and I are staying home for the holidays this year. We decided that we really wanted quiet time. I hope you'll understand." Then continue to give the other person empathy for their feelings about your not being there. The idea here is to balance the expression of your needs with your compassion for them. If they attempt to guilt you into a different decision, continue to offer them empathy: "I can see that this saddens you. We will miss you, too."
Finally, you may want to send a card or picture of your family and messages from each member. You can also suggest an alternate time to celebrate once the holidays are over—when things are less hectic for everyone—to make sure you keep a sense of connectedness.
For our three-part guide to a creating a simpler holiday, see the Dec/Jan 2008 issue of Natural Health.
